Aleecia Read online

  “And Dwayne,” Kyle added.

  “Yes, and Dwayne,” Aleecia said. “But I’m fifteen and you’re just starting college. The baby will be four and Dwayne will be twelve by then. What do I do in the meantime?”

  “Believe in me,” Kyle said. “Wait for me.”

  “I don’t think my mom is on board with that,” Aleecia said. “She’s taking me to the abortion clinic in Orlando on Saturday.”

  “Is that what you want?” Kyle asked.

  “I don’t know what I want,” Aleecia said sadly.

  On Saturday, Kyle woke early and stared at the ceiling. The acrid odor of Dwayne’s bunk wafted upward. Fuck, he thought, I’ll have to do the laundry before Mom gets up. Where was Aleecia at this moment? What was she doing? His thoughts ran wild. What if we ran away together? To Nashville, wherever?

  And then he thought about Dwayne and baby Crystal. I can never abandon them. What would happen to them if I left? Would Aleecia take them in? Could they be a family of five together? Shit, I keep forgetting that she is only fifteen, going on sixteen. She couldn’t, she wouldn’t take on all these kids. Why should she?

  From the minute he had met her, Kyle saw Aleecia as his salvation, a life raft for him to cling to. Her faith and the strength that springs from that—that is what I am yearning for. She seems certain about everything and I want to believe in her. She makes me believe in myself. When I am with her, all my dreams seem attainable. I can’t imagine living without her, but I never intended to hold her back, or stand in the way of her dreams. A wave of guilt flooded over him as he thought about the baby. This isn’t right. Aleecia is too young to make a commitment like this. She needs to let it go; I need to let her go.

  Kyle climbed down from his bunk and started to gather up the piles of dirty clothes. Dwayne’s eyes were open and watching him.

  “Hey, Dwayne,” Kyle said. “Help me with the laundry. Get your sheets.”

  Dwayne gathered up his sheets and followed Kyle into the kitchen and dropped everything on the floor by the washer.

  “Let’s get you into the bath,” Kyle said. He peeled off Dwayne’s soiled pajamas and dropped them into the washer.

  While Dwayne soaked in the tub, Kyle peeked into his mother’s room. Her bed was empty, and Crystal was sitting in her crib wide-eyed.

  “Hey, baby,” Kyle cooed as he picked her up. “Where’s your mama? Are you hungry?” Kyle gathered up her blankets in his spare hand and carted his load to the kitchen.

  Kyle cuddled Crystal in his lap as he fed her. Dwayne came padding into the kitchen wrapped in a towel.

  “I can’t find any clean clothes,” Dwayne said.

  “I know,” Kyle said. “Everything is in the wash. Eat some cereal.”

  As he watched the kids eating, Kyle thought: this is what our life could be like. Aleecia will get the kids up in the morning and make everyone breakfast. He thought about calling her but then he remembered that she was driving to Orlando with her mom. Not a good time.

  FOURTEEN

  Aleecia

  * * *

  ON SATURDAY, ALEECIA WOKE UP EARLY AND WASHED her hair. While her mother was still asleep, Aleecia sat at the kitchen table with her phone. She opened up the Facebook app and checked out Dawn and Joyce’s photos taken at the beach party the night before. Aleecia still had not told them about being pregnant. Gazing at the photos, she felt a million miles removed from the life of a freshman girl. She thought back to the night when Kyle came into Big Lots and invited her to the barbecue. Everything had happened so fast. And now she felt torn between her mom wanting her to get an abortion and Kyle wanting her to keep the baby. What do I want? I’m not sure!

  Out of curiosity, Aleecia searched on Facebook for teen moms and found a page called Nine Months. She scrolled through the feed and was surprised and comforted to see so many girls voicing her thoughts. Luciana was fourteen and wasn’t sure who the father was. Jasmine was a nineteen-year-old college freshman from New Jersey. Shawna and Isabella were both eighteen and their baby daddies were planning to marry them.

  Aleecia: My baby-daddy says he’ll marry me but my mom wants me to get an abortion. She’s taking me to Orlando today.

  Luciana: What’s in Orlando?

  Aleecia: That’s the closest abortion clinic. It’s 100 miles.

  Shawna: Don’t do it. Do you love your baby-daddy?

  Aleecia: I think so.

  Isabella: You need to be sure. This is your life we’re talking about.

  Shawna: And your baby’s life. Have you seen this video? Nick Cannon’s “Can I Live”

  Luciana: Let us know what happens in Orlando.

  Aleecia heard her mom walk into the bathroom and shut the door. She sent friend requests to all the girls who had posted comments so she could follow them.

  Aleecia tuned the car radio to the gospel station and noticed that her mother’s jaw was working; it appeared as though she were arguing with herself without letting the words escape her mouth.

  “Mama?” Aleecia asked. “Have you seen this video on YouTube? It’s about a baby that wasn’t aborted and grew up to be a singer.”

  “What are you talking about?” her mother asked, distracted.

  “I mean, what if my baby grew up to be a famous singer?” Aleecia asked.

  “And your point is?” her mother asked.

  “I don’t think I should have an abortion,” Aleecia said.

  “Aleecia, we’ve talked about this,” her mother said. “How are you going to feed a baby, much less pay for voice lessons? You need to be realistic.”

  “But, Mama, you and me, we’ve always been fine,” Aleecia said. “What makes you think I couldn’t do as good a job as you?”

  Her mother shot her a look out of the corner of her eye. “Nice try, girl. Flattery will get you nowhere.” And then she smiled for the first time in days.

  “Let’s just talk to the doctor and discuss your options. Then we can decide. Okay?”

  There was a crowd outside the clinic, singing hymns and holding signs. One read, “Women Do Regret Abortion” and another had a graphic image of a bloody fetus.

  “Do not look at them,” her mother said. “Don’t make eye contact. Keep your head down and hold onto my hand.”

  “Please don’t kill your baby!” A woman jumped in front of Aleecia, blocking her path. “You can celebrate a birthday next year!”

  “Aleecia, c’mon.” Her mother tugged at her hand. She dragged Aleecia into the clinic and slammed the door behind them.

  “Mama, please,” Aleecia said. “I don’t think I can do this.”

  A nurse approached them. Aleecia read her name tag: Carlotta.

  “Can I help you?” Carlotta asked.

  “We have an appointment,” Aleecia’s mother said. “Last name Rivera.”

  Carlotta checked her clipboard. “Yes, Dr. Mark will be with you in a few minutes.” Carlotta looked at Aleecia’s mother and then back at Aleecia. “Aleecia, maybe your mother could wait out here?”

  “Okay,” Aleecia said.

  Aleecia followed Nurse Carlotta into the exam room.

  Nurse Carlotta closed the door quietly and turned to Aleecia.

  “You seem upset,” Nurse Carlotta said.

  “I don’t know what to do,” Aleecia said. “My mother wants me to get an abortion, but Kyle doesn’t want me to.”

  “Kyle is the father?” Nurse Carlotta asked.

  “Yes,” Aleecia said. She was miserable.

  Nurse Carlotta rubbed Aleecia’s shoulder. “Aleecia, what do you want? This is your life. You can’t let other people decide for you. Abortion isn’t your only option. There are a lot of couples that can’t have children who would love to adopt your baby.”

  “Do I have to decide today?” Aleecia asked.

  “Let’s have Dr. Mark do the exam,” Nurse Carlotta said. “And then we’ll talk about your options.”

  Aleecia sat shivering in a paper gown on the exam table as Dr. Mark finished the exam and l
eft the room.

  Nurse Carlotta put her hand on Aleecia’s shoulder. “Are you okay, sweetie? Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll go get your mother.”

  “Wait,” Aleecia said.

  Nurse Carlotta hesitated at the door.

  “The doctor said I’m four weeks pregnant,” Aleecia said. “When do I need to decide?”

  “Abortion is legal up to twenty-four weeks,” Nurse Carlotta said. “You have some time. But if you choose to abort, the sooner the better, for your own health.”

  “What do we tell my mother?” Aleecia asked.

  “Tell her you need more time,” Nurse Carlotta said. “Nobody can force you to choose.”

  Aleecia was quiet on the drive home.

  “I made an appointment for next Tuesday,” her mother said. “I’ll have to take a day off work.”

  Aleecia didn’t say anything.

  “Did you hear me?” her mother said. “You’ll need to skip school that day.”

  “I haven’t decided, Mama,” Aleecia said.

  “What do you mean, you haven’t decided?” her mother asked.

  “I need to talk to Kyle,” Aleecia said.

  “This is not his decision,” Aleecia’s mother said.

  “No,” Aleecia said. “It’s mine.”

  “And mine,” her mother said.

  “Are you saying you would kick me out of the house?” Aleecia asked.

  “No,” her mother said. “I would never do that.”

  They drove for a few miles.

  “I tried so hard to be a good mother, to raise you right, so you could have all the things I never did,” her mother said.

  “I know, Mama,” Aleecia said. “You have always been there for me. This is not your fault. I screwed up. And I am so sorry that I let you down. I just don’t think my baby should have to pay for my mistake.”

  They drove in silence for a few more miles and then her mother spoke.

  “We’re keeping it, aren’t we?”

  “Yes, Mama,” Aleecia said.

  Aleecia sat back and smiled inwardly. Her palms rested light on her belly, suddenly sure in her decision.

  FIFTEEN

  Kyle

  * * *

  THE SOUND OF HIS MOTHER’S CAR IN THE DRIVEWAY made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. I wish she would go away and never come home again. I wish she were dead. Then Aleecia could move in with us and take care of the kids.

  The screen door slammed. “Where is everyone?” she yelled.

  “In the kitchen, Mama,” Dwayne yelled back.

  “Well look at this,” she said as stood at the kitchen door. Kyle stood with his back to her, folding clothes as he pulled them from the dryer.

  “Wash my sheets too,” she said to Kyle. “And then run to the market for me.”

  Kyle turned around and glared at her.

  “Where have you been?” he said. “Why aren’t you here making breakfast, doing the laundry and the shopping? Why do I have to do everything?”

  “Don’t you speak to me like that!” she said. “Maybe if your no-good father had stuck around, you would have more respect.”

  She pushed past him to pour herself a cup of coffee.

  Kyle seethed and he couldn’t help himself.

  “I’m not going to be around much longer,” Kyle said. “I’m moving out.”

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  Kyle felt Dwayne and Crystal staring at him.

  “I don’t know—maybe move in with Aleecia,” he said.

  “That little cunt?” his mother said.

  “Don’t call her that,” Kyle said, disgusted. “She’s my baby-mama.”

  “Oh, Christ!” his mother said. “You knocked her up?”

  “We’re having a baby, yes,” Kyle said.

  “That’s fine,” his mother said. “You need to get out of my house anyway, now that you’re eighteen and done with school.”

  “You’re throwing me out?” Kyle said. “Who’ll take care of the kids when you’re out carousing?”

  “Dwayne’s old enough to look after Crystal,” she said.

  “He’s eight years old, for Christ’s sake!” Kyle shouted.

  “I was eight when my mama left, and I had to look after my sister,” she said.

  “Yeah, and where is she now?” Kyle yelled. “Turning tricks in Opa-Locka?”

  She turned and slapped him across the face. The blow brought tears to his eyes.

  Crystal started to bawl.

  “Mama, stop!” Dwayne was crying too. “I don’t want to go back to the foster home.”

  Kyle felt like his head was about to explode. He grabbed his keys and ran out to his car. He needed to get away. He jammed the gear into reverse and peeled out of the driveway and almost sideswiped his mother’s car.

  He drove fast down Route 1. Rather than risk a speeding ticket, he parked at the beach and ran along the hard sand at the surf line. He ran until he could run no further and then he collapsed on the sand and held his head in his hands, staring out at the ocean, waiting for his heart to slow. Sweat and tears stung his cheeks.

  Everything felt overwhelming. How am I supposed to save Dwayne and Crystal? FSU has offered me a full scholarship to play for the Seminoles. If I made the NFL draft, I’d have enough money to rescue them. But that would take years. And if I went to school in Tallahassee, what would happen to them? And what about Aleecia and the baby? He imagined piling them all into his car and arriving in Tallahassee to start a new life together. It seemed like the only solution.

  When he got back to the house, it was late afternoon. Dwayne was in the living room, playing video games. His mother and Crystal were in the kitchen. She stood over the stove, stirring a pot.

  “You went to the market?” Kyle asked.

  “Yes, and I finished the laundry and Dwayne made the beds,” she said. “You see, we don’t need you. You can run off with your little whore and we’ll be just fine.”

  “So we’re really doing this?” Kyle asked.

  “Jared’s moving in,” she said. “And he doesn’t want you living here anymore.”

  “Jared? Crystal’s daddy?” Kyle asked. “That’s where you’ve been hanging?”

  “Yes,” she said. “He would have moved in sooner, but he wanted you out of here.”

  “That asshole!” Kyle said.

  “Watch it!” she said. “He’s been giving us money.”

  “What about Dwayne?” Kyle asked. “Doesn’t Jared want him gone too?”

  “Dwayne’s okay for now,” she said. “If it becomes a problem, I’ll let you know.”

  “You won’t let him hurt Dwayne?” Kyle said. “You’ll call me first?”

  “I said I would,” she said.

  Aleecia

  Aleecia woke up early on Sunday and logged into Facebook.

  Aleecia: My momma said I can keep the baby.

  Luciana: Did you go to Orlando?

  Aleecia: Yeah, we drove up yesterday. There were protesters and everything.

  Candy: I told my parents!

  Isabella: And? Girl, don’t keep us in suspense!

  Candy: My mother is going to call her gyno to schedule an abortion.

  Aleecia: They can’t make you do that!

  Candy: I know. But how am I supposed to have a baby and go to college?

  Jasmine: People do it.

  Aleecia: Kyle is going to college. We’ll be OK.

  Aleecia’s phone buzzed. Kyle was texting her.

  See you at church?

  She texted him a smiley face.

  After church, they found each other among the throng in the parking lot.

  “My mom changed her mind,” Aleecia said. “She said I don’t have to get an abortion.”

  “Wow,” Kyle said. “How did that happen?”

  “I reminded her that she kept me,” Aleecia said.

  “I’m glad she did.” Kyle kissed her and took her hand. “I have some news for you too,” he said. “Can
we go for a walk on the beach?”

  “Sure,” she said. “My mom said I’m not grounded anymore—now that I’m already pregnant!”

  Kyle chuckled.

  They drove to the beach and sat in the car staring out at the waves.

  “My mom is throwing me out,” Kyle said.

  “What?” Aleecia cried. “Why?”

  “I’m eighteen. She’ll lose her benefits if I stay there,” Kyle said.

  “Where will you go?” she asked.

  “You mean where will we go?” he said. He put his arm around her and rested his left hand on her abdomen.

  “Let’s talk to my mom,” Aleecia said. “Maybe you can stay with us.”

  Aleecia pulled out her phone and texted her mom.

  Kyle wants to come over

  Her mom replied, Invite him to dinner.

  Aleecia grinned. “She said you can come for dinner. Yay!”

  “Yay,” Kyle whispered into her hair.

  SIXTEEN

  Aleecia

  * * *

  KYLE ARRIVED AT ALEECIA’S HOUSE AT SIX, WEARING black Levi’s and a crisp white shirt.

  “You dressed up!” Aleecia exclaimed.

  “I need your mom to like me,” Kyle said. “We should have done this a long time ago.”

  “Hello, Kyle.” Aleecia’s mother stood in the kitchen doorway with a platter of chicken.

  “Can I help?” Aleecia said. She took the platter from her mother and set it on the table. “Sit down, Mom, we’ll get the food.”

  “Hello, Ms. Rivera,” Kyle said. He stood in the middle of the room, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

  “Kyle, come help,” Aleecia called from the kitchen.

  Aleecia handed him bowls of potatoes and vegetables and she carried the salad.

  Once they were all seated and served, Aleecia said grace.

  After a few bites, Aleecia’s mother put down her fork.