Candace Read online

Madeleine took a deep breath and sat back in her chair. “Okay, let’s start at the beginning. Tell me about the father. Birth fathers have rights in the state of Massachusetts. And he’s European?”

  “He’s Italian,” Candace said.

  “Italy? The court system there is medieval. I don’t think our in-house council is qualified to take this case. We’ll have to hire a specialist.”

  “How much will that cost?” Mommy asked, her voice rising in alarm.

  “Oh, you don’t need to worry, the adopting family pays all of our fees.” Madeleine said. “But this case is starting to sound quite complicated. Candace, the birth father—what’s his name?”

  “Danilo Rossi,” Candace said.

  “Danilo?” Madeleine repeated. “Candace, Danilo has rights. We’ll need to have his written termination of parental rights. Our families need to know that the father won’t be coming back to assert his parental rights at some point. It’s our policy.”

  “What if we go back to the beginning and say that we don’t know who the father is?” Mommy suggested.

  Madeleine raised her eyebrows. “Mrs. Parker, I am licensed by the state of Massachusetts. I can’t un-hear what you’ve already told me. Candace, doll, you’re going to have to contact Danilo and get his signature before we can move forward with the adoption.”

  “I don’t want to give Squirt away,” Candace said.

  “What?” Madeleine squawked. “That’s a whole new kettle of fish. You’re not choosing adoption?”

  “No,” Candace said. “Mommy is forcing me.”

  “You don’t understand,” Mommy interjected. “My husband left me. The choice is adoption or divorce.”

  “Heavens to Betsy, we’ve got quite a mess here,” Madeleine exclaimed. Then she folded her hands again and rested them on the desk. “Here at the Boston Adoption Agency, we only deal with voluntary adoptions. The birth mother and father both voluntarily waive their parental rights, the adopting family agrees to whatever adoption plan the birth parents choose—closed or open. One hundred percent customer satisfaction. That’s our policy.”

  Madeleine rose. “Ladies, thank you for coming in today. I’m sorry we couldn’t be of service.” She gestured toward the door.

  Mommy was fuming as she unlocked the passenger door of the Subaru. Candace buckled her seat belt and Mommy exploded. “Now you’ve gone and done it! You’ve ruined everything.”

  “Mommy, I’m sorry,” Candace said. She began to cry.

  “What am I going to tell your father?”

  Candace thought for a minute. “Tell him that the Italian legal system is medieval and we have to hire a special attorney. That will cost thousands of dollars. You know Daddy. He’ll freak.”

  Mommy started laughing in a weird, kind of hysterical way.

  The next afternoon, Candace was dozing in her bed when Daddy knocked on her door.

  “Candace, can I come in?”

  “The door’s open,” she mumbled, pulling herself up slightly on the pillows to face him.

  “Hi, Daddy. Are you moving back in?”

  “Why is it so dark in here?’’ Daddy tugged at the curtains and dragged the desk chair over next to the bed to sit down. “Candace, your mother called me and told me about the meeting with the adoption agency yesterday. I think I need to speak with Danilo.”

  Candace’s eyes widened. “Talk to Danilo about what?”

  Daddy frowned. “We need to resolve this. Is he going to step up and be a father, or is he going to waive his rights? Nobody will adopt the baby if there is a chance that Danilo will appear at some time in the future to claim it.”

  “How will you find him?” Candace asked.

  “I want you to text him and tell him to meet you at the Panera Bread in Coolidge Corner. You arrange a time with him and I’ll meet him there.” Daddy handed Candace her cell phone. “Right now,” he said. “See if he can meet you today.”

  “What should I say?” Candace asked, her voice quivering.

  “Geez, Candace! Just say hi and see if he responds,” Daddy said, exasperated.

  Candace texted, hi.

  They waited.

  A few minutes went by and then: hi kid. Wassup?

  Candace started giggling. This is fun, she thought—like being in a detective movie.

  She texted, I need 2 talk 2 u. Meet me at panera in coolidge corner

  “What’s he saying?” Daddy hissed.

  “Wait!” Candace hissed back.

  Danilo replied, sure. When?

  Candace texted, today?

  Danilo replied, 5 ok?

  Candace texted, Yesss

  Candace’s head fell back on the pillow, a beatific smile on her face.

  “What happened?” Daddy said.

  “Meet him there at five o’clock.”

  Daddy ordered an iced tea and found a table near the front door. At few minutes after five, he saw Danilo get off the T and cross the street, walking north on Harvard Street.

  Little bastard, Daddy thought. He’s ruined my family, my marriage, my life.

  Danilo pulled open the glass door and Daddy waved, calling out, “Danilo!”

  Danilo did a double take and then smiled, “Hi, Mr. Parker. I’m meeting Candace here.”

  “She couldn’t make it,” Daddy said. “She’s confined to bed.”

  A cloud passed over Danilo’s face. “Is she hurt? Is she okay?”

  “Sit down,” Daddy said.

  Danilo pulled over a chair from a neighboring table and sat with a worried expression on his face.

  Fifteen

  * * *

  “CANDACE IS PREGNANT,” DADDY SAID. “TELL ME YOU didn’t know that?”

  Danilo looked completely panicked. “No! I saw her in August at the mall and she looked perfectly fine! She didn’t say anything.”

  Danilo held his head in his hands. Then he looked up. “How do you know it’s mine?”

  Daddy grunted. “We’d be happy to order a paternity test, but she’s due in December. Looks like she got pregnant in early March. That’s when you started dating, right?”

  “She told me she had protection!” Danilo protested. “I offered to buy condoms, but she said it was okay.”

  “You didn’t use a condom?” Daddy shouted. “You irresponsible little piece of shit!”

  People three tables away turned to look at them.

  Danilo started to cry. “Mr. Parker, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. She never told me.”

  Daddy slid a legal document across the table toward Danilo.

  “We’re giving the baby up for adoption and I need you to sign this document,” Daddy said. “You need to waive your parental rights.”

  “What does that mean?” Danilo asked.

  “You’re giving up responsibility for the child, including your obligation to pay child support. You’ll agree to never see the child, ever.”

  “No, no,” Danilo said, pushing the paper back toward Daddy. “My parents would never forgive me. I need to call my father.”

  “What is wrong with you kids?” Daddy said angrily. “Why don’t you want to just get back to living your own life?”

  “What are you saying?”

  “Candace refused to have an abortion and now she’s refusing adoption,” Daddy said. “She’s eighteen. She has her whole life ahead of her, and she wants to keep the baby. She should be at college. Instead she’s lying in bed waiting to go into labor.”

  “Why is she in bed?” Danilo said. “Is she sick?”

  “Some complication with the uterus. She can’t get up until the baby is full-term,” Daddy said.

  “Can I see her?”

  “Oh, good God!” Daddy said. “Are you telling me you care about her, or this baby? Where have you been for the last six months?”

  Danilo stood up, shoving his chair backward. “I’m telling you, I didn’t know! If I’m going to be a father, she should have told me.” Danilo slammed his fist on the table and stormed out of the restaurant.
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br />   Out on the street, he texted Candace: can I speak to you?

  Candace replied, Daddy told you?

  He texted, yes. Can I come over?

  She replied, give me an hour? I need to take a shower.

  He texted, ok.

  “Julia!” Candace shouted. “Julia, I need help.”

  Julia came puffing up the stairs. “What is it?”

  “He’s coming over. I need to clean up. Can you change the sheets while I take a shower and change?”

  “He, who?” asked Julia.

  “Danilo is coming over—in one hour! I don’t want him to see me like this,” Candace said. “We need to hurry!”

  “Mr. Danilo is coming here?” Julia said. “We need to clean the place! Hop in the shower, Miss Candace.”

  Candace rushed through her shower and dried her hair with a towel. Julia had changed the sheets and opened the drapes and the windows. She even had sprayed the room with Fabreze and it smelled vaguely of wildflowers. Candace pulled her hospital outfit out of the dresser and yanked off the tags. Tugging the nightgown over her head, she admired in the mirror the way her engorged breasts filled out the low-cut bodice. Julia plumped up the pillows and Candace carefully lowered herself into position.

  At seven twenty-two, Danilo texted, I’m outside.

  She replied, ring the bell. Julia will let you in.

  The bell rang. Candace was a bundle of nerves. She was terrified to face him after all this time. What is he going to say? She heard Julia greet Danilo and direct him upstairs. She heard him on the stairs and then he stopped. Of course, he had never been up here before, he didn’t know where her room was.

  “Danilo?” she called out. “In here.”

  He appeared in the doorway. His jaw was set.

  Danilo has filled out a bit since I last saw him, she thought.

  “Surprise,” she said, trying to lighten up the atmosphere.

  He walked over to her and stood next to the bed. “Surprise? Seriously? What the fuck were you thinking?”

  “Danilo. . .” she stammered.

  “You said you had protection! You lied to me? What—to trick me? Am I supposed to marry you, now? Was that the plan?”

  “There was no plan,” she said. “I was a virgin. I was stupid. I made a mistake.”

  “Okay, so why didn’t you get an abortion?” Danilo demanded. “That’s what all the other girls do.”

  “Like the girl in the Bahamas?”

  Danilo looked confused. “What girl?”

  “I saw you with that girl on the beach,” Candace said.

  “You were there?” he asked. “I thought you got sick and flew home?”

  “I flew home the next day,” Candace said. “I was on the beach looking for Molly and the other girls and I saw you with her. And then when we got back to school, it was over. You just stopped talking to me.”

  “Look, I was never really all that into you,” he said. “It was the end of senior year. Time to move on. I didn’t know you were pregnant!”

  “Wow,” she said. “So here we are.”

  He took a step closer. “Can I sit down?”

  She nodded and Danilo sat down on the side of the bed. “Am I hurting you?” he asked.

  “No,” she said with a grimace.

  “Can I touch it?” he said, his eyes glued to her belly.

  Candace took Danilo’s hand and pressed it to her abdomen. “He’s kicking.”

  Danilo jumped when he felt the baby move. “Shit! He hates me!”

  “How did you know that it’s a boy?” Candace asked.

  “It’s a boy?” Danilo said. “What’s his name?”

  “Sq—“, Candace started to say and stopped. “I don’t know. I should probably start to think about it.”

  “What the fuck, Candace?” Danilo said in frustration. “What am I supposed to do now? My father is going to kill me.”

  Danilo stood up and pulled out his phone. He took a picture.

  “What’s that for?” she asked.

  “Evidence for my father,” Danilo said.

  “So what’s the deal here?” Candace asked. “Are you going to waive your rights or do you want to be involved?”

  “My family will take care of you,” Danilo said. “They’d never let you put it up for adoption. I told your father that. Man, is he pissed.” Danilo chuckled morosely.

  “Do you want me to call you when he’s born?”

  “Sure, text me after he’s born.” Danilo started to leave and then turned back to her. “No—text me before. My mother will probably want to come.”

  Then he walked downstairs and let himself out.

  Candace rolled onto her side and cradled her belly. “That was your daddy,” she whispered.

  She logged onto Facebook.

  Candy: My baby daddy came to see me today.

  Aleecia: Is he going to stay with you?

  Candy: No. He hates me. My father confronted him and he came over to yell at me.

  Shawna: Maybe it’s not always about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it’s about starting over and creating something better.

  Luciana: My baby daddy is dead. Drug overdose.

  Isabella: Mine too. Afghanistan.

  Jasmine: Mine should be so lucky!

  Sixteen

  * * *

  CANDACE HELPED JULIA SET THE TABLE FOR THANKSGIVING dinner. It was the first week that she had been allowed out of bed and she wore her fleece tracksuit and the bunny slippers Daddy gave her for Christmas the year before. The same Christmas that Danilo had given her the Garden State album. Wow! she thought, a lot changes in a year.

  “How many places do we need to set?” Candace yelled toward the kitchen. “Is Daddy coming?”

  Sara walked in the front door and dumped her backpack on the front stairs. “Is Daddy coming to what?” she said.

  “Thanksgiving. Is Daddy coming?” Candace said.

  “God, I hope not.” Sara said with bitterness. “I hate Thanksgiving! What a dumb holiday. Just a stupid meal—and I hate turkey and Brussels sprouts and especially sweet potatoes.”

  “What is up with you?” Candace asked.

  “Tell me you love Thanksgiving,” Sara said.

  “No, of course not. Anything involving family meals and too much food and discussions of my weight? Please!” Candace said.

  Just then, Candace felt her panties get wet.

  “Shit, I need to pee!” she said and ran to the bathroom. But it wasn’t like regular pee. Water just kept dribbling out and it smelled like the ocean. “Mommy!” she shouted. “Sara? Can anybody hear me? Help!”

  “What’s up?” Sara said through the door.

  “Get Mommy! I think something is happening.” Candace heard Sara running upstairs, shouting. There were lots of footsteps pounding on the hardwood floors and then Mommy’s voice came through the door.

  “Candace, unlock the door! What is happening?”

  Candace opened the door. The smell of brine was overwhelming.

  “Your water broke,” Mommy said. “The baby is coming. Are you feeling contractions?”

  “No,” Candace said.

  “Okay, wash up; I’ll call Dr. Bird.” Mommy was all business.

  Candace had changed her underwear and sat gingerly on a stool in the kitchen. “What did the doctor say?” she asked.

  “We need to wait for the contractions to start,” Mommy said. “It could be twenty-four hours. If nothing happens by tomorrow, we’ll go to the hospital.”

  “What does that feel like?” Candace asked. “How will I know?”

  “Did you not read the book I gave you? It’s like a vice around your abdomen. There’s nothing to compare it to. You’ll know,” Mommy said. “Get a towel from the linen closet. I don’t want you staining the dining room chair.”

  And then to Julia, “Is everything ready?”

  “Are we expecting Mr. Parker?” Julia asked.

  “I’m not sure,” Mommy said. “Leave a place set for h
im and let’s start with the salad.”

  Candace and Sara took their seats and folded their hands in their laps.

  “Let’s count our blessings,” Mommy said. “I’ll start. I’m thankful for my health, our beautiful home, and that business has been good this year at the store. Your turn, Sara.”

  “I’m thankful that my team won regionals,” Sara said.

  “Candace?” Mommy said.

  “I’m thankful that I am out of bed. I’m thankful that the baby is coming and this will be over soon.”

  “Over?” Mommy said. “Candace, this is just beginning. This isn’t like adopting a puppy. You’re going to have to feed the baby, change the baby, and bathe the baby. This baby will be your entire life for the next eighteen years. What about college? What about dating? You’ll be thirty-six before your life will be your own again.”

  “Geez, Mommy,” said Candace. “I had no idea how you felt about having children.”

  The front door opened and Daddy walked in.

  “George!” Mommy said. “We didn’t know you were coming.”

  “Who did you think was going to carve the turkey?” Daddy walked around the table kissing Sara, then Mommy and then Candace on the head. “Happy Thanksgiving, ladies,” Daddy said. He sat at the head of the table and picked up the carving knife and fork.

  “George,” Mommy said. “Are you drunk?”

  “Maybe a little.”

  Candace had never seen Daddy this way.

  “Who wants a wing?” Daddy said.

  “I do,” said Sara.

  “White meat for me, please,” said Candace.

  As Daddy served up the turkey, Julia passed around heaping bowls of potatoes, spinach, carrots, and squash.

  “Before we dig in, let’s say grace,” Mommy said. “George, what are you thankful for?”

  “I’m thankful that my biggest account paid me on time and I can afford this spread.” Daddy took a big gulp of red wine.

  “Okay, girls,” Mommy said. Candace and Sara loaded their forks and inhaled mouthfuls of turkey, vegetables, and Julia’s fresh baked corn bread.

  The Parkers ate in silence, savoring the rich food.

  “Candace’s water broke today so we might be spending the night at the hospital,” Mommy said.